Third World Rockstar
26 Hours of Unadulterated Glee
November 9th, 2005
We should know better than to take things for granted. Take, for example, various 'essential' bathroom fixtures. And so, when the plumbers removed vee's privy (loo to you Brits) yesterday morning, he called up Mr. X to get some perspective on the situation.
Mr. X: "Twenty-six hours?!? That's most impressive. Lends new meaning to the phrase 'intestinal fortitude.'"
vee: "Indeed."
Mr. X: "So what are you supposed to do in the interim?"
vee: "Really, my options are few. The handyman said I could simply remove the rags from the hole in the floor and use it as such..."
Mr. X: "Ah.... takes me back to my days in Tajikistan. Most Americans (present company excluded of course) are far too squeamish about such thoughts. Show them a bidet and they'll think it's some sort of filthy drinking fountain."
vee: "I remember my first drink from the bidet..."
Mr. X: "How could you forget?"
vee: "It does seem a bit strange, the culture that's erupted from the WC."
Mr. X: "Erupted might not be the best word..."
vee: "Evolved then."
Mr. X: "I agree. It all began 4500 years ago. Time and again, you'll find it a vehicle for social change. Comfort Room walls have long been a hotbed for humour and a canvas for the graphic arts. Even Pompeii."
vee: "And then it was buried in a fiery torrent of cinder."
Mr. X: "Most places are sooner or later. Bottom line, you should view your situation not as a set-back, but as a portal to another world."
vee: "Portal might not be the best word..."
The conversation soon shifted to other, more mundane topics, like the price of wheat, concrete throughout the ages, and pandemics as they relate to fashion. Time flies when you're having fun, and before vee knew it, the porcelain seat was returned to its proper position.
Long Live The vee Revolution.