The Perils Of Prosperity
vee and &roid Become All The President's Men
April 5th, 2006
This story is almost too shocking to tell. Long have we held vee and &roid as pinnacles of political decency. Given the choice between volunteering and taking candy from babies, they most certainly would have chosen the former. But oh, how times have changed...
Over the weekend, it seems our heroes have cowed to politics. One look at the evidence is all you need. Just observe the smug grins on their rotten little faces -- it doesn't take Woodward and Bernstein to realize that there is something afoot. What could it be?
I, your intrepid reporter, vowed to get to the bottom of this mystery. It didn't take long to put two and two together. Whilst they were rubbing elbows with the Fort Collins political-elite, I rifled through their bags. Bingo. In my hands appeared a check for $5 million signed by none other than the candidate himself! Everyone, it seems, has a price.
And so, these nouveau Olie Norths laugh all the way to the bank. We had always thought they were starving artists, struggling to make a living. Now, we come to find that this is only a facade. vee device is in the pockets of big-time politics; living like Roman gluttons at the expense of hard-working taxpayers everywhere. What next? Campaign theme songs? A vomitorium?
This revelation has shaken the very foundations of the vee Revolution, leaving us with many questions and few answers. Woe! How the veils of fate have lifted! Like Caesar on the blade of Marcus Junius, we can only be left to mutter "Et tu, Brute?"
Long Live The vee Revolution.